And it all went horribly wrong....
Howdy again -- this is Quackers! A couple of pints before I begin ranting and quacking about my last few days... first, you can see more pictures of the roadtrip (some that don't even involve me!) in the "Pictures" section of Stephen's web site. Second, if you didn't read my first post, please skip to the post below to find out about the first leg of this trip.... 'Cause it's all downhill from here!!!
Please excuse me if I seem a little off, but I don’t think it’s legal for Stephen to pump this much alcohol into me (and himself) in such a short period of time! If he substituted liver for mixed drinks, I'd sweare that he was preping us both to be Fois Gras!
We drove through the rest of Arizona and through some of New Mexico and saw some very pretty "deserty" things along the way... including tumbleweed!
When we got to Albuquerque I demanded that Stephen wash the stench of Las Vegas out of his clothes (I was the one who had to sleep in the duffle bag after all)! Stephen was happy to comply, as the smell of smoke easily triggered Stephen’s gag reflex – I don’t think the smell of Vegas will ever settle with his stomach again (and I THOUGHT that he would never drink again – boy was I WRONG!!!).
After washing Stephen’s clothes (and my little orange scarf), we were off to a friendly neighborhood bar called “Albuquerque Mining Company”… It was a strange little bar… When we walked in there were 10 or so guys watching and yelling at the Basketball game on TV. For a few minutes, we weren’t sure if it actually was a gay bar… But when the home team scored, some of the guys shrieked in delight and hugged each other… suddenly we knew we were in the right place.
Even though we only wanted one drink, the bartender proceeded to refill Stephen’s Vodka Cranberry with out asking (and without much Cranberry, for that matter). After getting sloshed once again, we went home and Stephen crashed…
Before heading out of Albuquerque, Stephen decided it would be fun to get a CB radio so that we could listen into the “secret world of truck drivers”… (you can see the antenna seat-belted into the back seat of the car).
Instead of getting tidbits of “trucker wisdom” we quickly learned that most CB conversations revolve around fluids… Conversation topics included “what types of fuel additives are y’all using”, “I’m so thirsty” and “I always carry a gallon jug of tea with me in this here cooler behind my seat (this conversation lasted at least 20 minutes – including types of tea, how many bags to add, and how sweet the tea is in the south)”; and the all important “boy, I gotta piss” conversation. Also, we herd some delightful conversations about the need for a shower “boy, you know you need to shower when you are offending yourself”.
Perhaps the most enlightening thing we did learn from the CB is the concerted effort that truckers make to block asshole drivers on the road. At one point, there were at least 4 truckers in a conversation about blocking in the “asshole in the white SUV”. They must have blocked that poor schmuck in for at least 20 minutes and kept him slowed down to 60 mph (in a 75 mph zone).
At one point, we heard the truckers referring to us as big bird. I’d like to think that they were talking about me, but Stephen is pretty sure that they were referring to our big yellow car…
Instead of heading to Oklahoma and Dallas next as planned, Kent convinced us to come to New Orleans first so that we would get more time to hang out with him. Though I had never met Kent, Stephen told me plenty of sorted stories – and after meeting him, I knew they were all true...
Stay tuned for New Orleans...
