Day 35 Chrys died 35 days ago, and every day seems to get longer and longer. Since I got back from the NY memorial service, the activity has slowed to a trickle. No more condolence letters, not as many e-mails, and not enough calls to keep my mind occupied... In case you are sitting on the fence about whether Stephen wants to be bothered with a phone call -- bother me!

This has been the hardest week of my life. And although I know I can lean on my friends and family - I've never felt so alone.

This post isn't meant as a final cry for help -- I'm not about to do anything totally crazy... I've got an appointment with my shrink on Monday and a grief counselor on Tuesday, and I will be assigned to a grief counseling group by the end of the month (I guess they are still waiting for more people to die to get enough people together for the next group)... So I think I'm doing the right things to get through this. I'm reading grief books, and I've been told that I'll get through this... but I'll believe it when I see it -- right now it doesn't seem possible... Every day that goes by just seems to make me miss Chrys more... This sucks...

Anyhoo, why am I posting this? Well, while it might not be a "final cry for help" it certainly is a reminder that I could use all the help I could get... so even if you don't know what to say, please feel free to call and just say "hi"... I'll try not to depress you too much, but I can't promise anything... I know it may be awkward for some people to call me if you don't know what to say... but believe me, It's even more awkward for me to call you if I know that I'm just going to bum you out...

Thank you to everyone who continues to be supportive through this shitty time.  ¶ Friday, March 10, 2006